I read the news again today, and it took me three seconds to regret it. That’s also the exact time it took me to burst into tears, as always.

It’s hard for people like me to live here, it’s hard to feel so numb, so helpless in this vicious reality.

I see what happens and I want to shout, I want to scream so hard, so that the world will tremble, literally tremble!  That someone will finally wake up and say: “Hey that woman knows what she is talking about! There is something really wrong going on over there!”

A year and three months after the war on Gaza and it looks like everyone has fallen in a deep sleep, or as it seems – a coma.

There is still a war going on in here, a war so cruel that no one even took the time to give it a name.

The Israeli government say they will not build new houses in the illegal settlements, but yet – they do, they build as always and even more; not only this, but Israeli government also allows Israeli settlers to take control of Palestinian houses in Sheikh Jarrah in Jerusalem, like there is nothing to it!  Police arrest Israelis, internationals and Palestinians activists like they are doing something illegitimate or illegal.

This weeks news : A 21 Palestinian girl was killed today after an Israeli settler ran her over with his car. The person who did it, although the police know who he is, is not in custody.

And I ask myself loudly: Isn’t it an act of terror,with police approval?

More news: IDF shoots and kills Palestinian teen on Gaza border. And I ask myself again and again: Isn’t it an act of terror, with Government approval?

I live here, I see things like that happen every damn day, and still I just can’t believe my eyes and ears. I see soldiers holding a gun pointed to two-years-old babies, to old ladies, I see them torture young guys, old people, women and children at the barriers; I see the soldiers, they are only boys with uniform but still, they are looking at those helpless people with an empty, cold, soulless and arrogant look that says it all. From my point of view they just lost all humanity: 18-21 year-old boys that have become disciplined, well-trained robots of a cold government.

I have a feeling like nothing I will ever do will be enough: I have been to demonstrations, I have called soldiers ” terrorists in uniforms”  to their faces, I have taken pictures of them vigorously beating a young man, with clubs, rifles cults and evil hands. I have taken pictures of them doing so many inhuman things. I have published those pictures, I will talk and open the eye of anyone who wants to listen (and to some who wouldn’t). I wrote articles, I did so many things, and yet, nothing seems to help my conscience to be at peace.  Still, I can’t sleep well at night, I can’t be at peace with the brutal occupation of another nation nor I should be! So why? Why nothing I do seemed to be enough?

I’ll tell you why: because there are only a few more like me, too few, who have opened their eyes and become aware of the horrors of the occupation. That have become aware of the size of the disaster, people that have slowly realized that we should put an absolute end to the occupation of Palestine, which is not a defense of the homeland, as many Israelis would like us all to believe: it is an aggressive occupation of another nation. An occupation that allows the IDF soldiers to prevent Muslims worshipers to pray at the one of the world’s three holy mosques, Al Aqsa Mosque, located in Old Jerusalem, this are territories belonging to the occupied Palestine, not Israel. A murderous bloodthirsty occupation that permits taking lives of innocent people.

So why are there so few of us who can see all of that?

Are people afraid of mighty Israel? Or has the world just gone made? Don’t anyone know what’s going on in here?

There is a nation under an occupation! A nation of people that are been killed every day! They have been constantly degraded, they are suffering from a lack of things that we all take for granted — clothing, water, food, medicine, the freedom of praying, the freedom of education. They are being slaughtered by another nation! All in the name of fighting terror, protection of the Holy Land. Well, no land is more sacred then life, even more so a land conquered by force.

How can anyone defend something that is not theirs to begin with?

I wish for the world to wake up from it’s coma. I wish people will come to an understanding that it is wrong to allow IDF’s crimes. It is wrong not to protest. It is wrong to be viewers from the side and do nothing!

Need I remind you what happened in 1939-1945 BECAUSE the world stood still? At least 9 millions Jews, Ggypsies, Muslims, disabled people and gays, were murdered. Do we want it to happen again? Are we doing something to prevent it from happening again?

We need to break the wall of silence! We need to speak up and do all we can to put a stop to it! There should be no more bloodshed, no more needless killing of the unarmed civilian population, no more heartless occupation, no more war crimes, no more orphans, no more widows, no more parents burying their children, no more pain and loss. No more…

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